My Name is Matilda, The Tilly Rivers Story
Copyright, Tilly Rivers, 2010
Entry # 4
Me- the Poet
I have currently , four published poetry books, I have, however, probably a million poems. I am blessed to be able to express how I feel in a poem, and blessed even more that my poems touch and are loved by others.
My poetry collection“Just the Way It Is “was written in 2004 after my father passed away. The poem “floating” has been reprinted over 5 million times, and translated in five different languages. My father is my life, and I miss him beyond measure!
As I am writing this, I feel as if I am betraying my mother, forgive me Mom, as I do not love you less, and do not miss you less. The truth is, as I write this, I realize, that it is not that Dad was my life, you both were, it is just that he left first...he left me...but he left you too didn't he Mom? And you had a greater claim then I did. And once a selfish brat...always a selfish brat...God if I could reverse time, I would of been a better daughter Mom, I would of been there for you more. I am so, so sorry. I was so caught up in my loss that I didn't support you in yours.
Just the Way It Is, was a blessing, and I am thankful and touched that others took comfort in my words, and that they too found a healing path after loosing someone close to them. Was that my purpose in writing Just the Way It Is? No, I just needed to write, I needed to find a way to express my pain.
I write free form, which means it does not rhyme, you will find no--Jack and Jill went up the hill...I do not write according to formula, or shoulds- not ever, not here, not in my horror novel, not in my erotica, not in my magazine articles, and NEVER in my poetry.
I have a blog, http://poemsbytilly.blogspot.com, where I post poems and pictures for others, in which they can read, print, post, collect...or whatever. I do so not to promote or advertise, I do so because I truly love poetry, I truly love writing and I am thrilled to share with others. The poems are free, and I am happy to be in a position where I can give back to the universe, as it blesses me daily.
I can tell you that I have won many awards, I can tell you that I have accomplished great feats that other writers may dream about, but that is not why I write, I write because it is me- I am it- words, stories, prose...it just is. One.
What shall I write about next?
Fuck it...I just can't do it. I can't write in sections. I mean come on, whose life is cut into nice neat sections anyway? The lines cross, jumble and tumble and are one and none.
Nice sections, slots and categories seem pretty boring to me, and I am many things, but boring isn't one of them. It is like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole, sure you can do it- after all there is always a way- but does it belong? NO WAY- so you sanded down the fucking corners and made it fit, but why did you? What the hell was wrong with being a square peg? ~giggles~
Is that what I am I wonder, a square peg? I am - just me. And you know what, that is okay with me- perfect in fact, as that is what I was meant to be!
Country Girl |City Girl
Continued in entry # 5...
